undying macula
It's quite simple: don't take this as our last dialogue, in the midst of this liminal space.
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When I first met you—
…!
Maya awakened in a strange plane of existence. Jarringness was the first thing she felt. Then… absolute nothingness.
How long was she out for? Hours, days, months… years? Time seemed to stretch out indefinitely, her sense of time was warped in this limitless space. The concept of time was, ultimately, worthless here.
The paradise covered by white was nowhere to be found, instead replaced by a seemingly endless and empty void. A place in a state of eternal stillness and solitude, as if it had been left undisturbed for millennia. There was nothing, and there is nothing.
The final conclusion she could pull out was: she doesn't know. There was nothing she could grasp onto, for any sense of space as well. The silence was too loud for Maya's own comfort. All she could feel was her own presence.
She feels… nothing. The parts needed to feel that were missing. She feels nothing, unlike the last time she still had limbs. The need to stretch her limbs with hazy eyes was even nowhere to be found.
Maya has always favored loneliness, but not after what has cruelly happened. Bitterness surfaced once more at the thought of… Her. Her demise. It was as if she still could hear Her voice, every word she ever uttered in that moment lingering in the air from how silent this void was.
Like fate was still mocking her. Maya despises it thoroughly. She doesn't know if this is purgatory, waiting to subject her to another life full of torture that she deserves. Or hell.
Maya had to admit that's pretty stupid. Afterlife doesn't exist. She is also attesting to that claim.
Maya attempted to emulate what should be a guilted laugh.
After a few while of recuperating from the revelation, she started to gather more information inside her thoughts, to make sense of this.
Then… what should she do next? Trapped with no direction…
The sound of a drop of water hitting a surface echoed, holding sorrow and lament in it. There was nothing she could do. She has never felt this alone and helpless in years, ever since she was ‘taken’—
No. She doesn't and would never miss Lacrymira, she denies that line of thought. But despite that, another tear fell, then another followed helplessly…
Without realizing her surroundings, a familiar but young voice broke through the thick air full of sorrow.
“Hey, are you alright?” the voice held a pitiful cadence.
Taken aback by the unexpected voice, Maya shifted her peripheral vision to the source of the sound. Expecting a person, a mirror and a diary entered her line of vision. There were several new items — trinkets floating in the air, some which Maya recognized.
That mirror back then… and her own diary. But there were no human beings there.
Maya responded with: I'm… who are you? How are you here?
“More like… this is my place!” the childish voice sounded offended.
Oh… sorry, I thought this place was empty. But I don't see you.
“Right!” the voice sounded sheepish, “Uhm… try ‘touching’ the mirror in front of you,”
How do I do that?
The surface of the mirror ripples. “Huh? What do you mean? I thought if you can reach this place in the first place, you'd know how to do that,” the voice fell into silence for a brief moment, before they continued, “Do you feel that power coursing through your consciousness?”
Maya didn't even notice there was that current before. But its presence was prominent. It felt strangely natural. It started to appear as Lacrymira passed her power to Maya.
Ignoring that just noticing that power made Maya feel dizzy, her emotions susceptible like she was on the brink of insanity…
Now that you’ve pointed that out, yes I do.
“See, it's similar to controlling Arcaea,” the voice encouraged. “Just find that flow, focus your power on this mirror, and voila! Now try it.”
I don't know. I've never done this before, but I guess I'll try.
Maya tried to follow the voice’s instructions. She focused her consciousness on the powerful surge of unknown power and directed it to the mirror.
Every second she held her focus, she felt her own sanity close to spiralling out of control… it was by no means an easy task for Maya.
“W–Wait! Not that hard… you're seriously going to blast me off–!”
Maya cringed, muttering words of apologies in her thoughts. No wonder it felt so difficult. She lessened her focus significantly, keeping the flow trickle into the mirror little by little.
A small form started to materialize in front of the mirror. The mysterious voice’s form almost looked like a carbon copy of Insight, but much younger and less dignified. In fact, she seemed like a rebellious little teen.
But Maya forsook. She must not judge this… little Lacrymira by her cover.
Little Lacrymira swung her arm around, admiring her new body with pride. “It's that easy, right? Ooh, it's been years since I last had a physical form—”
This Lacrymira’s personality was the polar opposite of the reserved Lacrymira she was used to.
“L–Lacrymira?”
“Huh?” Little Lacrymira replied, before she froze. Her pupils dilated at the sight of the woman standing in front of her, a shade of red painting her cheeks as if she had gazed at beauty herself.
“Pretty woman…” she complimented, admiring Maya with her mouth agape.
Maya raised her brow at that statement. Then she realized what Little Lacrymira meant.
Looking down, she discovered her form had been restored perfectly. Her clothes were intact, except for the new addition of a pristine white robe draped on her form. Lacrymira’s robe… it brought her a sense of calmness bringing a part of Lacrymira with her.
Little Lacrymira tried to save face by coughing onto her hand. But it was too late. “What's odd?”
“Is— Is this supposed to be normal?” Maya asked, massaging her eyes which weren't even affected by tears at all, but she swore it did.
Since she was already deep into trouble anyways, Little Lacrymira had a smug grin at Maya's question, though with a flushed face. “Well, behold! The power of Ascendant 8th Seeker, Insight!” she presented with a theatrical bow.
Maya inhaled lightly. “Oh, her full title is a mouthful…”
“Hey! Don't diss our title like that!” Little Lacrymira shushed her up.
Maya pretended not to hear that part, choosing to divert the topic instead. “You… really look very similar to someone I know, just that you're tiny and younger.”
Little Lacrymira silently blinked for a second from that sudden redirection, but completely understood the person Maya was referring to. By that, she means too well.
“That's becauseee… we're both Lacrymira, duh?” Little Lacrymira replied with a slight tilt of her head, placing her hands on both sides of her waist, “Let me introduce myself. I was created by adult Lacrymira hundreds of years ago to accompany her in exploring worlds, and things like that. Bleh, how complicated… but you get the gist of it!”
“...so, you're like a companion to her?” Maya asked. Seeing an energetic Lacrymira instead of a reserved one… it was so odd that it defied every sense of Maya's familiarity with Lacrymira. That's precisely why she wanted to know more about this little Lacrymira right here.
“Not really. I just reside here in this little dimension here. She'd visit me occasionally though, like I'm her shaman.”
Stuck in this endless void without anything else forever… When Maya thought of it, that is such a pitiful and lonely life. Even she couldn't bear a few days here.
“Don't you get lonely sometimes?”
Little Lacrymira’s eyes widened a fraction at what Maya uttered, but she was quick to patch it up with her answer, “Nah, I am a manifestation of her power. This place… it's hidden deep within Insight’s authority. Like an anchor, maybe. So that's why you ended up here naturally.”
Thankfully, Maya just assumed that Little Lacrymira was only taken aback by her question.
“That… kind of explains it,” About why it's so empty. “I don't think I remember intending to go here?”
“Fear not! I know why you're here exactly. Only the person that has the authority over this power can come here,” Little Lacrymira replied. “And… you're here because your form was irrecoverable.”
“Ohh… I see. So that's why. My original form was made out of Arcaea— oh…” Maya realized she shouldn't have shared this much information in the first place.
“Arcaea-made bodies can't take that much stress! This power was supposed to be only compatible with shapers in the first place.”
“Mind telling me your name…?”
“Ah… Maya,” she replied abashedly, just realizing that she hadn't introduced herself yet.
“I've never seen you before. There was only adult me here before you,” Little Lacrymira leaned forward slightly. “It's been a long time since she came to visit me again, though. Shame shame…”
“She's…?”
“Do you know where she ran off to this time?”
There was a hint of doubt in Maya's eyes, whether or not she should tell this little Lacrymira the truth. There's a child involved, after all. So she was hesitant.
Noticing the doubt in Maya's awkward silence, Lacrymira’s glare instantly turned into one full of urge. “Just break it to me. I'm not as young as I look,” she sternly demanded.
“She's dead.”
Lacrymira dropped the icy glare immediately, replaced with her usual childish, curious glare as if it never existed. What a mood swing that was. Maya thought Insight’s had the worst mood swing, but surprise surprise, her younger self is worse.
“Oh… eh? H–huh!? Dead?! She’s dead?! Like, dead deceased?” she replied, her eyes wide as if she's genuinely shook by that information.
Maya nodded wordlessly.
Her head hung down. “That's a shame… I thought she would never meet her demise. Me, defeatable...?" She looked like a kicked puppy.
Maya hates this. It's this effortless for Little Lacrymira to look so cute.
“I'm sure her soul's still somewhere wandering. Don't look so down,” Maya patted her head in an effort to cheer the silver haired kid up stiffly.
Extra awkward, since Little Lacrymira was only a few centimeters shorter.
“I don't need cheering up like a little kid,” she grumbled, trying to push Maya's hand away from her head. The way she nuzzled against Maya's pats betrayed her actions. “I'm literally older than you.”
Because— how could Maya stand seeing such a cute child in distress? She wasn't that cruel. Furthermore, this is the only chance she could have on teasing Lacrymira.
“It’s okay, Lacrymira. Take all the pats you need,” Maya gave another pat.
Little Lacrymira’s head unconsciously leaned more to Maya’s comforting touch, much to her dismay. “I’ve completely forgotten what I was supposed to do just now… mmhm… enough,” she tiptoed away slightly. Then her face lit up, as if she just recalled something. “Oh, right… you still can't get out of here.”
“And what do you propose we should do?” Maya mused, her hand still lingering in the air from feeling Little Lacrymira’s soft locks.
Little Lacrymira assumed a silly but prideful pose, “Teacher Lacrymira is here to teach you how to use your newly acquired authority! Step by step!”
But Lacrymira looked too proud… Maya guessed it wouldn't hurt to get a little direction.
“I… guess I'm in.”
“Don’t doubt me, I'm more experienced than the other me!” Then she added with a slightly hushed voice, “She's already down while I'm still standing here.”
“Okay, okay. When do we start, then?”
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Maya entered the same, familiar void once more. Approaching the same mirror, she gave the smooth, reflective surface a touch, imbuing it with the tiniest drop of purple.
Lacrymira immediately jumped at Maya, startling the girl who promptly jolted and let out a yelp.
“Just to train your reflexes,” Little Lacrymira giggled, clinging to Maya's petite form.
“How sly,” Maya huffed, shifting Little Lacrymira's position on her back to give her more support, “But you teach your mentee well, Lacrymira.”
Hearing that praise, Little Lacrymira leaned forward slightly out of a sense of accomplishment, causing Maya to grunt a little bit, though it was mixed with a soft laugh. Little Lacrymira was a little bit heavy.
“To be honest, Maya, I've never been a mentor before. Awesome new experience!”
“Really? I'd never believe it.”
“I've previously had a mentor before but I've never taught! Turns out it's as hard as it looks,” Lacrymira finally jumped off Maya's back, “Now I owe Nell something…”
Nell? Really sounds familiar to Maya. It rings a bell somewhere.
Little Lacrymira sat down on the void (?), patting the space beside her to signal for Maya to come sit down with her too. Albeit confused, she trusted Little Lacrymira and came to settle down on the space.
“And where is Nell now?”
“Dead,” Little Lacrymira nonchalantly answered.
Maya's expression immediately morphed into that of a regretful one at Little Lacrymira’s odd, single-word casual but serious response. “I'm sorry, Lacrymira.”
“Eh, it's alrighty. That whole world's already dead anyways. I never really lived so I just pull my experiences from adult me,” Little Lacrymira gave Maya reassurance. “And… just refer to me as L. We've gone past pleasantries, anyways. And! I bet it's not good to be reminded of your dead… lover?”
“It's really complicated…” Maya's eyes wandered with a distant gaze, before it returned back to L’s deep blue eyes. Just the same shade of Insight — Lacrymira's eyes. She shook her head, “No, no. It's alright. I don't really know if I'd call her a friend, too.”
“E–Enemies? You're both enemies?”
“It’s…” her breath hitched, “I'd really hate my abductor?” Maya sounded hesitant, so she immediately added more context. “It's not like that… it's complicated.”
“Ah,” L immediately fell into silence, then she asked with a frown, “Do you hate me?”
“Why would I?”
“You know…” L’s words trailed off.
“You didn't do anything, L. I'd never hold someone innocent accountable for the… stupid things their other self does.”
L gaped slightly from Maya's forgiving tendencies, then let out a little, nervous laugh. “Aww, Maya is very kind! But I fear… I had a part in it as well.”
“You didn't. I swear if this is only an attempt to get me to resent you…” Maya let her words hang in a threatening way, her face scrunching up in annoyance from L’s self blaming.
“But I did,” L averted her gaze again, “I knew what she was going to do… and I didn't do anything.”
“It's not working.”
“I’m being for real. The thing is, this authority is a double edged sword. She had gone too far into insanity because of it, and I don’t know how to stop her,” L sighed. “I don't exist and I can't interfere…” her voice lowered in disappointment.
“Hey. You're powerless to stop her. You don't have the resources to do so, L,” Maya hushed L up, “And I don't think it's all that bad. So, don't blame yourself again, okay?”
“But…” Little Lacrymira was almost ready to launch another reason, but the words were stuck on the tip of her tongue. And furthermore, how quick Maya is to dismiss her own feelings almost pushed L from the edge of her seat. “Hmph, fine. You win this time.”
I think you're really deep into Stockholm’s at this point, Little Lacrymira wanted to say. But she held that back as well, not wanting to create any awkwardness.
However, Maya just offered a gentle silence in response, not indicating any awkwardness between them at all.
Running out of things to say, Maya diverted the topic. “Oh! I need to tell you about this.”
“Huh?”
“Listen. I checked the state of the world she took me into,” Maya paused a little bit to think about her next sentence, “From what I've observed from the outside, It's completely destroyed, and it looks like the gateway to it is completely closed.”
“I'm surprised it took you that long to check. Especially since… well, you now know the way around your ability.”
“It's not that easy. I'm still inexperienced and I followed your precautions to the T, you know.”
“That’s bad… Hmm. If it's destroyed—”
“Well, there's still Arcaea. Or make another one from scratch?”
“There's no way I'd let a beginner try to create a world, it's too complicated to figure out. Let me see…” L’s hum occupied the otherwise silent space, as if pondering about something. “You probably can try restoring it instead, with the world as the base for the new world! It’s fairly stamina consuming, and it takes a lot of skill.”
L kept a fairly straight face, but if you were to pay attention, you'd find a slight grimace hidden beneath.
“What about it?” Maya asked, intending to fill the gap from L’s pause with palpable curiosity, without knowing the underlying meaning of it for L.
“U—Um… I can help with that. Give me a… I don't know! Hehe.”
This is almost the end of her, isn't it?
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Purple. Mirror. Materialize. Physical. Bestow.
That was the start of their growing bond. After that, it goes like a routine. Maya would then visit Little Lacrymira everyday, just to share her findings, or talk about mundane things.
Little Lacrymira does not mind it. After all, it has been a long time since she had a companion. It was almost comforting that someone would confide in a being they just met. A very alone being.
What she wouldn't like is how a tiny hope of not wanting Maya to let her go grew inside her. She was just a manifestation of Insight's—Maya’s authority. She wasn't expected to exist, let alone get attached.
But, she couldn't help but notice something was off, as more time passed by. She feared the impending— knew it was a mere matter of time, that their time was limited.
She doesn't even dare to gaze Maya in her eyes anymore…
“Look at what I found in Arcaea, L.”
“Did you apply yesterday's lesson well~?”
“Hmm? I sure did,” Maya said, then she added: “About the cores of worlds, I think I did it well,”
“Which world did you…?”
“Arcaea!”
Lacrymira almost choked.
“A–Arcaea? B-But—!”
That's the equivalent of stepping into a death trap, L thought.
Maya gave a small chuckle. “Thanks to your guidance.”
L’s face actually went through a plethora of emotion, including mortification, horror, surprise, and at the same time proudness, and others— That's her Maya right there!
Still, she didn't dare to gaze Maya right on her eyes, opting to divert the direction of it instead.
“And you managed to get out safely,” L whined, “I think I'll trust you in this bit, if you've managed to get through so far…”
Who knows if she'd end up like “her”, if she wasn't careful enough.
To add into the intrigue, Maya opened her mouth to finally elaborate about her findings in Arcaea enthusiastically. “Guess what, I found something interesting,” she hinted, “I found a little carving on the deepest part of its core.”
L did feel something shifting in her not long ago, but didn't know the details of what Insight did…
“Tell me about it.”
“So…”
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Another day.
“I found an interesting rift earlier. It was pretty.”
“Ooh… they say beautiful things give you inspiration. Is that true, Maya?”
“I definitely can attest to that. I suddenly had a rush of inspiration, and now I have a complete vision of something planned in my mind now.”
“Woah, really? That's so cool! I want to see it for myself too, someday. If it can give you that big of an inspiration. I bet it'd be very pretty…” it was said full with longing.
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Their time was scarce and limited. Knowing that, Little Lacrymira still chose to believe in Maya regardless.
Was it from blind trust, or was it from the hope Maya had made her believe in, that there is always something waiting for her in the future?
Little Lacrymira never asked for a miracle. Somehow, it granted her the will and desire to exist and to live.
So— why not? Another day has passed.
“Maya! Tell me more about what you did today,” L asked when Maya materialized herself— like always, as they sat on the edge of the void. It was a scenery they both have come to be familiar with, especially for L.
Holding her knees to her chest, Maya tilted her head to L’s direction. “Not that much, but it's hilarious. I kind of messed with Arcaea’s residents today,” Maya said with a sheepish upward tilt of her lips, “It's not intentional, but it happened and I just dragged it out…”
“Are you serious?”
“Now, I picked fun at a fair amount of them. I didn't do anything serious,” Maya clarified, though her mischievous tone said otherwise.
“Hehe… that sounds so fun! I wish I could join! I wanna poke fun like Maya too…”
“Don’t worry, I’ll do it in your stead.”
“Promise you'll do everything hilarious in my stead?”
“It could be a promise. Yes.”
“Mm. Consider it pay back!”
“Do you want to know another funny thing, too?”
“Huh?”
“I'm a living legend in that realm now.”
“Ahaha… oh my goodness,” her voice was full of mirth.
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Little Lacrymira couldn't be more grateful enough for Maya. Her first friend, she would come to call Maya as.
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“L, I think I know what I want to learn today.”
“Can you tell me about souls and the aspects of lifeforms?”
“Hm? Why the sudden need to know that?”
“It just crossed my mind today. And I wanted to see if it would be helpful—”
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“What do you think? I might've accidentally created a new method to capture what I was looking at.”
“I wanna see!” L excitedly urged Maya.
“Here.”
A tinge of fascination went through L, as Maya materialized a shard?
Ah. Vibrant colors reflected on her eyes. The light within the shard lit up the otherwise empty and colorless void with its brilliance. They swirled around the center of the crack, forming a beautiful vortex. She's never seen this before—
“Is that the rift you told me about? You were right! Woah, it's so vast and pretty…”
“Mhm. It is.”
Her thoughts were consumed by the alluring display in front of her, and she could only marvel in awe. “So cool… is this Arcaea?”
How precious, Maya thought. She wished she could see this smile etched forever. “I manipulated the shard in order to replace and accommodate a new memory. How does that sound?”
“Heh. You've taken the liberty to test something unique for me,” L covered her eyes with her sleeve, wiping the lone tear that was starting to drop down her face. “I'd consider you as already adept at using it!”
“Really? I feel like I can use it instinctively now. It's thanks to you, L.”
L’s wide smile deepened. Flattered, she responded delightfully, “Ha… I just did what I needed to do.”
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Lately, Little Lacrymira noticed Maya had grown more distant lately. More hazed.
It was subtle, but the signs were already there. How her ruby eye shone a bit more dimly, replaced with that strange and eerie stare.
So long, yet so short time…
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“What do you usually do in Arcaea, anyways?”
“Exploring and… oh, finding new and interesting shards. I like them the most. And Arcaea has beautiful flowers too.”
“What do you do with the flowers?”
“I bring it with me for good luck, usually,” Maya gazed into the deep, endless void, smiling to herself, “Do you want me to bring you some next time?”
“Maybe.”
“Don't be shy, L. Yes, I'm going to bring you a bouquet of them tomorrow,”
“I said maybe!” L sounded quite grumpy, before she instantly deflated, “But I'll look forward to it.”
Seeing L so defensive and at the same time yearnful… it gave Maya a strange source of warmth, even in the midst of uncertainty. To see her often, and to see that smile on her forever.
It taught her to never give up, and perhaps, this granted a sense of forgiveness within her.
“What about here? Can you grow a flowerbed here?” Maya instead asked with a hum.
“Yes, but I’ve never really considered it. I don't know what I want to put here,” she paused for a minute as if to consider, looking over Maya and immediately diverting her gaze away. “But don't worry about it. I sometimes feel like I don't deserve it,” she brushed it off casually, making a shoo-ing gesture.
Disapprovingly, Maya shook her head. “Don’t say that. A colorful scenery is not a luxury at all… That's it! I'll also bring along some seeds for you next time!” she insisted.
L’s eyes widened, “But—”
“It must be boring here… and I'll put the mirror in the middle of the bed, so you can enjoy it even without a form…” Maya murmured.
“I can choose to grow them myself too, you know,” L tried to deny, but a wide smile was already etched on her face.
“Maybe you can, but a garden you planted with your own hands is just… sincere,” Maya elaborated with heartfelt enthusiasm. “It helps to find yourself too. The more emotion you put into it, it ends up even more beautiful.”
“...I see.” L chose to reply in silence, closing her eyes for a wise second. Then, a fond and uplifting glance graced Maya soon after. “You know… you're very caring. Even for someone you just met a few days ago—”
“It’s not really good to judge anyone by their appearance… I believe everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves, even if the person did something terrible.“
“That’s… kind of a harmful way to think…” L’s grip on her skirt tightened, her body strangely tense. “But thank you… you know, I think you're my favorite friend ever— I can say you're my bestest friend. I've never had anyone that cared for me more than you do, literally!”
“Not even…?”
“Not even her.”
Even if they were one and the same.
L continued, “And hmm… say, that if I had to let you go, I wouldn't want to!” Then her voice, albeit still delightful, dropped to a slightly hushed, reluctant tone. “But if we had to part ways, will you promise me that you'll never be stuck with it forever?”
Maya furrowed her eyebrows. "And, what brought this line of thought up?”
“Uhh, I don't knowww… I just don't want to make the same mistake as she did.”
Maya chuckled.
“I just don't want to make you sad, it's so cruel…”
“Okay, L. But you'll have to start bugging me about it daily so I don't get too sad,” Maya teased, but her voice was laced with something else much more… grave.
She'd seen this somewhere else. But someday, perhaps, Maya would be able to pass the story of this semblance of authority as a successor.
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Even if she wasn't supposed to, Maya too, would have come to enjoy L’s presence— like a safe place for her to be in her most vulnerable state.
So when Maya heard that line from L…
“L~” Maya happily strutted in L’s direction, bringing a colorful bouquet and a bag filled with seeds that she found in Arcaea in her hands, oblivious as to what would follow.
“Maya… I think you can get to repair the world now.”
It was very unusual for L to greet her with such solemnity. Maya’s face imperceptibly twitched, but her expression doesn't betray anything other than shock and unwillingness to let go.
“Haha… what's gotten into you, L?” Maya stepped forward, gazing at L with her empty, empty stare that made L back away a little. “We're going to do a lot today, remember?”
“Oh, don't give me that. I'm serious,” L said sternly, backing away by a step in cautiousness. “Tell me… when you're ready.”
Their time was supposed to be short, yes. Maya was correct. But understanding it, and the inevitable reminder of its ending before her own eyes, was difficult.
“Are you really—” Maya's hands lost their grips. “Oh.” she let out with a low tone.
It dawned on Maya, the realization that she was going to lose something else in this moment.
“Hey… isn't it still too soon, L?” Maya shook L’s shoulders desperately.
What Maya had failed to consider was that in the process, she hadn't realized that she too had lost herself in this illusion, and that it had etched its way inside her since right at the beginning of everything.
Thus, when it finally catched up to her at that moment… She feels numb.
L gripped Maya's hands, bringing her arms up to sling around her neck loosely. “You're here to find a way to revitalize that— no, revive her, right? So, go ahead and let's do this.”
“I'm not,” Maya shakily responds, tightening the embrace and not wanting to let go. “It's not only for that…”
“Don’t lie in front of me like that.”
“L…” Maya's voice gradually grew more erratic and demanding. “You’re aware that you'll be gone if we do this, aren't you?”
“But… didn't you promise that you’ll not be stuck with my absence forever?” L said, her faltering “Please make good of that… for the sake of us.”
Maya does not understand why everyone wants to sacrifice themselves for the sake of another.
“No. Absolutely not. I'm not ready to let you go.”
“But you'll be unable to reach her.”
“Ha… you’re still cruel with this?”
“I’m not her, Maya,” L made a point.
Maya's expression shifted slightly. “...” she grips on the fabric of L’s clothes. Then her fingers clung on it temporarily. “I'm aware.”
“I hope.”
“Isn't there another way… other than this…?” Maya tried once more, trying to hope in false optimism.
“There is not, Maya. Just… choose.”
“...” then she added with a low whisper, releasing L from her desperate embrace. “Don't make me choose… I… why are you just…?”
They both know the answer.
“I see,” L said in an acknowledging and knowing hum. “Why are you even sad, Maya? I don't at all, you know… Because I know I've fulfilled my purpose, and you,” L tapped her chin, “If you really ask me, knowing this is all for Maya, I don't regret it in the slightest, really!”
Despite the obvious sanguinity, her voice was a little unsteady.
“Is this really the end…?” Maya whispered, eyes brimming with clear tears. Hearing L’s words of resignation made it a little bit better. However, Maya couldn't hold the tears that escaped her, having to say goodbye to this brave kid standing in front of her.
How unbearable.
“Here. Take my hand. Let's just play a little game of hide and seek, okay?”
Even in her last moments, L still tried to cheer Maya up.
Maya reached out to take the hand offered to her, but she immediately retracted it back— it’s as if Maya was refraining to touch something sacred. Maya hesitated, then she finally lent her hand on L’s confidently; a final decision.
“Just wanted to say for the last time, thank you for being my only friend, Maya.” L chuckled for the last time. “Sorry that I wouldn't be able to see that sea of flowers with you.”
“No… we'll do that another time, silly…” Maya averted her gaze, playing along with L’s little game, and to hide her sobs. The hand on her chest unconsciously curled into a fist. “I think I… can bear to wait.”
“Turn around, please.”
She turned around again—
Then, almost instantly, it was… empty. All that remained was the lone bag of seeds, the handful of colorful flowers laying on the ground—
And a pitch black orb that L left behind. Immense power swirled around the ominous void on its center, and it was all for Maya. A reminder of her choice, and the outcome of her action.
(She couldn't even see the last expression L had, as she faded away.)
Her blurry eyes lingered on the empty space where L stood a moment ago. What to feel…
Maya had a choice; she didn't take it.
It was almost tragic, but alas, it had been such a short time…
Then, with the legacy L left her with…
With trembling hands and a smile, Maya lifted her hand, holding the powerful orb—what was left of L— in her grasp.
At that moment, with the warm force beckoning her to move forward, Maya believed in one certain thing: she will never let anyone else meet their end again.
And let this be the start of everything. Even the end.
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